wow haveigottenstronger since the last incident i had, well it doesn't feel like it....i still feel weak. almost weaker than before , i could not hold my rage...it bubbled over like a volcano, oh how mentally and emotionally weak i am......my day is officially fucked and i mean that literally...everyone is agitated and angery and upset....how can i fix it ...i cant fix it. i need to know how i could mend this ordeal and make it better i need it for myself to be happy..with the anger here i dont feel whole anymore, it feels as if a part of me that i had waited so long for had drifted away from me and it would probably take a mericule to bring it back...why did i act that way, she never seen me that way could she think of me differently now...i hope not please dont be upset with me....i cant keep losing my temper at every little thing. thats probably the reason that i was alone for so long, or is it that i felt the emotion of others i felt their hurt was that what triggered me to lose it again i dont want to lose it at the wrong time and not control it, but at the same thing i enjoyed it my anger was only a tool for me .....nevermind everything is better